It's Time to Go to Church

It was Christmas time and my friend had invited us to go watch her sing at church.  We decided sure, Christmas Sunday, why not?  But, of course we were tempted by sleeping in and a late night before to miss and we didn't end up going.  Tony said he was worried that he's go up in flames if he walked into the church and I think there was a bit of seriousness in his plea. But something just called out to me that it was time, that we had to rid our excuses and just go. So the first Sunday of the New Year 2011, we decided to go.  My friend said she'd be singing and at the time, that was my biggest motivation.  Tony was worried about the childcare and of course I was a bit too, but I was also excited that they even offered it, so that was another nice motivating factor about this church. The final thing was it was seriously within a mile or so of our house.  We hmmmed and hawed all morning and were running late as usual. We had a few moments where we thought about not going, but when it came down to it. I said 'let's go' and so we jumped in the car and drove to the church. Tony was extra pleased at how close it was.  We walked in and the minuted we walked through the doors my eyes started to well up. OMG! We are here...we are in a church...OMG...can I do this...does this feel right...I'm not sure about this and so many more thoughts were going through my head. Tony, was Catholic, and for me having him there was a true blessing and I think it made me feel so emotional.  We didn't know where anything was and had to ask where the nursery was. We were instantly greeted and helped. We walked to the nursery and as I looked around I just thought, wow, this is cool. So many people, a nice set-up, so inviting.  We got to the nursery and quickly, people spotted us as newbies and helped us get our baby girl checked in. I loved the computer check-in system and we received tags for check-out.  Baby girl never goes willingly from my sight, but she did, she went right to the nursery girls. It was amazing to me and it was a sign that it was going to be just fine.  We found our way to the sanctuary and received a bulletin.  We entered and the lights, the music playing, all the people, I was instantly exhilarated, but so darn scared at the same time.  My emotions were on high alert and waterworks were going to start to fall any minute. What was I supposed to do...but just go with it.  Tony had my hand is his and we walked to the very back seats and sat down.  I started to cry as I looked up and saw my friend singing on stage. She looked radiant and the electric guitar, the violen, the drums, and the guy singing with is acoustic guitar...I thought I love it!  The lights were set perfectly with well thought out decor, the room was dimmed and the buzz of the music was very beautiful. There were 4 sections of seats, all individual, with about 20 rows deep.  Seeing people in jeans gave me comfort and seeing couples with their arms around them gave me joy.  It felt right, but why was I a mess. Why was I crying my eyes out?  It was because I knew this felt right and with Tony holding my hand in his and him being there with me - it was perfect. The songs they sang I wanted to join in and sing, but I was scared.  Will people wonder why that new girl is singing?  Will I sound bad?  I don't even know the songs, but I felt like I could sing them just fine.  After the music, they did communion and offering. The communion tray was the exact same one we had at my church growing up with the tiny cups of grape juice and tiny pieces of cracker bread. It brought peace and for me, it was another sign we were in the right spot.  The sermon began and I think Tony and I were in absolute awe with everything. All that the pastor was saying related to us and it was almost if he knew we were there and was speaking right to us.  Tony and just kept our embraced hands and I bawled my eyes out in joy that he was there with me. I leaned over and said 'I need a tissue' and almost the same time I said, I looked up and saw a thing of tissues in the seat directly in front of me.  I grabbed and started to wipe my tears away, but they just kept coming.  It was probably the most emotional I've been since my baby girl was born.  Tony leaned over and said 'see it was meant to be'.  When the sermon was over, the songs started up and again I saw my friend singing as the main singer and I loved it.  It just felt as if everything was purposely in the right spot so we felt comfortable.  I think when Tony and I walked out after getting baby girl, we were speechless and we didn't even have to say a word. We both knew it felt perfect!