The Music Moves Me

There is something about Christian music that just moves me.  I have always been a fan of it and I can remember when I was in junior high, my Aunt made me some mixed tapes of various artists namely Amy Grant and Micheal W. Smith.  I played those tapes over and over again. I knew all the songs and even today and throughout the last 20 years, I still remember El Shadai from Amy Grant, as well as Friends by Micheal W. Smith.  I have played both on guitar and I probably will never forget them.  Music has been a big part of my life.  I was never a big singer, but I had played the saxophone and violin for 6 years each in my high school years.  After college, I met a musician who I was with for 7 years and married for one of those years. With the band lifestyle came all that they say about bands and unfortunately, it is very hard to see the truth about things from the inside.  Although our life was filled with fun, we had a horrible relationship. We did have great times, but we had some pretty low moments too. We just were not right for each other and as much as we tried, we were just two puzzle pieces meant for two different puzzles.  He was not a faithful partner and he never ever put me first.  He brought out the worst in me and I truly became something I didn't like. But years has gone by and when I look back, I do know there were many good things that came out of my marriage with the Musician. I realized that I know what I need and want.  I also realized that I am good enough to be #1 in someone's life.  Because of relationships formed via the Musician, I met my current husband who was and is an angel sent from heaven to save me from a bad path I was going down.  The other thing about the Musician, is that he bought me my first guitar as well as brought me to love music more than I thought.  I have a deeper appreciation of music and I learned a lot about it too.  I took lessons early on and have played for several years now. Although, I'm not the greatest, I can carry a tune and I know I will improve over time. The Musician was not a big fan of my growth in learning guitar and/or singing.  He was not supportive because he has always needed the spotlight.  I think this hurt me deeper than he'll ever realize but it has really made me want to prove that my efforts are far more rewarding than the acceptance and support from him.  We are friends today and I know what his life will end up like and yes, I do feel sorry for him.  He has pretty much had the same pattern with every relationship he has ever had.  I was just one that he married.  All were long lasting relationships, all he left for someone new, all he was not faithful, all had the same remarks and comments, and all really it never really mattered what the girl wanted because it will and always will be about what the Musician wants.  He can be a great guy, but not to the person who should be a top priority (after God, of course).  That's okay.  It was hard, but I left that situation because I have a lot to offer someone and I know that there would be someone who appreciated me for me. Luckily God was watching over me and led me to Tony, who is wonderful beyond explanation and I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove to Tony and God that I deserve such a perfect person for me. When I walked into the new church, the music took my breath away. It has been over 15 years since I had listened to Christian music. I think the only song I've heard is Josh Groban's 'You Raise Me Up' which I love.  The instant I heard the music, I had the urge to sing.  I am NOT a great singer, but at least I try, right?  The music moves me and the words are just amazing.  My friend from Church told me about a radio station called JoyFM.  I was hesitant because I'm a loyal listener of my current station of modern pop music. I really did not want to change, but I had this intriguing sense to just check it out.  Within 12 hours, I was hooked and listening non-stop, downloading Pandora radio, checking out concerts, buying some CDs, and now I just can't wait to find time to write a song or two.  Isn't it amazing how there is a genre of music dedicated to one person. Every song created is all about God, our love for God, our salvation, and anything to do with God.  Amazing. Do you think that would get tiring or old, but it never does.  It is peaceful and good. I love it and I am excited to dive into Christian music. With less than a week into it, I feel like it's home.